I make simple things complicated. I overthink every situation. I completely embarrass myself all the time because my laugh is too loud and I forget there are people around. I eat one too many desserts, despite knowing I shouldn’t. I am really critical of myself and I seem to find imperfections in every aspect of who I am. My best qualities lead to many letdowns, and for that reason sometimes I find them useless. I am hardheaded and I refuse to give up my theories….even if they prove me wrong. I am an idealist, an optimist, a pessimist, and a realist all in one.
With all these imperfections, I can honestly say that I still love who I am. I love that I try so hard to be a positive influence and to help people in need. I love that I am honest in my relationships with people and I am very committed to those that I love. I love that more than anything I fight for my internal happiness and peace. I love that I respect myself enough to not fall prey to toxic people and situations that do not bode well with my beliefs about the world. I love that I express my opinions without fear of judgement. More than anything, I love that when I love people, it is with all my heart and soul.
My point is that we are living in, and raising our children in a world that is constantly criticizing their every move. Every aspect of what makes us different is ridiculed to no end, from our physical appearance, to our behaviors, to the way we talk, act, smile, laugh, love. Every part of who we are; constantly analyzed by the people who have just as many imperfections as we do.
From the outside and from the lens of a camera we can all become a vision of perfection. With our perfect selfies and our luxurious vacations, we all seem to be living the perfect life. The truth is that perfection can be faked in a picture, but reality is hard for all of us. Those who tell you it is easy, are simply lying.
I think it is important to strive to be better, but never perfect. Besides the fact that perfection is impossible, it is also immensely and completely boring. It lacks originality and it has nothing to offer.
Most importantly, never spend time with people that you need to convince to like you. It took me many many years to love myself, and I do not have the time nor the energy to convince someone else. All I can do is be sincere and honest with who I am, some will like me, some will love me, and those that don’t, can walk away. After all, someone who is liked by everyone is doing something very wrong. If I have learned anything in the 20 years I have lived this life, it is that you can never please everyone. And if you ever find that you are pleasing everyone, then it is at the expense of your happiness.
We are given this short time to live our lives, why waste time caring about what people who will never value our importance think? Why waste any of our precious minutes striving to become something that we do not even want, simply because that is what is socially popular?
The people judging you do not care about you, so why should you care about what they have to say? Let go of pathetic egos and impossible standards. I love myself enough to respect who I am. Let people know the real you, the messy, imperfect you. The you that is not a copy, paste of a fallacious facade of perfection created by a merciless media. The you that is unique and has something to offer that nobody else can ever give.
Give love to everyone you meet, God knows we all need it.
Live simply,
Ersi Dani
